Monday, December 31, 2012

Monday

(The Velvet Hammer:  He fights to the death!)

Yesterday, I hiked ten miles.  The weather was freezing.  Plus my favorite restaurant was closed.  No delicious pumpkin pie.  No refreshing Dr. Pepper.  What a drag.

I took my family to church.  Driving is very difficult and dangerous.  Koreans are maniacs.  If I were king, I'd confiscate their cars.  Then I'd give each family a horse and buggy.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

I have a great pastor.  He's a card-carrying member of the Ivy League Mafia.  He graduated from Yale.  But I don't hold his education against him.

The pastor focused on Mark 14.  Jesus doesn't merely give us words before his crucifixion.  He also gives us a meal.  I like that.  We're fortified with his flesh and blood.  Now that's commitment.

We went to McDonald's.  I had a Quarterpounder and fries while the Children of the Rice enjoyed McNuggets.  I'm not sure what the Dragon Lady ate.

I watched Fox News.  Sean Hannity discussed the fiscal cliff.  Mr. Hannity called Obama the worst president in history.

I don't like the Velvet Hammer.  But I respect him.  He fights to the death.  Obama has more hubris than Richard Nixon.  We should declare him Caesar.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  Jesus was scourged and nailed to a cross like a common criminal.  He was then raised from the dead three days later.  I'd be crazy not to pray to him.  His power holds me captive.

I fell asleep at 11 p.m.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  The weather is brutal.  I didn't go for a walk.

The Huckabee Show came on.  I can't remember a word Mike said.  My memory is shot.  Perhap's I have Alzheimer's.

The Redskins beat the Cowboys.  That's cool.  The Super Bowl will feature the Broncos and Packers.  Peyton shall get revenge for being traded.

It's currently 3:30 p.m.  Today is New Year's Eve.  But I'm far too old and tired to make it till midnight.  I'll probably just retire early.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

13 comments:

  1. I think you meant Payton, Eli will be in the sky box watching his brother

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good catch.

      I made the proper changes.

      Thanks.

      Happy New Year.

      Delete
  2. Funny. Tragic. Hopeful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just stumbled. Good stuff. I can't tell if you are religious or atheist, republican or democrat, white or non-white, in the US or not, or really smart or really not-smart. Bravo. I'm stumped and that's hard to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a retarded white man who believes in God and lives in Asia.

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Happy New Year.

      Delete
    2. One more thing.

      I'm a registered independent. But I no longer vote.

      I've tuned in, turned on, and dropped out.

      Thanks again.

      Peace.

      Delete
  4. "He also gives us a meal. I like that. We're fortified with his flesh and blood. Now that's commitment.

    We went to McDonald's..."

    You are brilliantly funny even if by accident. One could write a great sermon based on this comparison.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love to read your blogs to my honey-bunny. He laughs at most stuff I cringe at. You do seem as Carter writes brilliantly funny. I love what Dragon lady fixes! You are marvelous that way.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. Smith.