Monday, December 31, 2012


(The Velvet Hammer:  He fights to the death!)

Yesterday, I hiked ten miles.  The weather was freezing.  Plus my favorite restaurant was closed.  No delicious pumpkin pie.  No refreshing Dr. Pepper.  What a drag.

I took my family to church.  Driving is very difficult and dangerous.  Koreans are maniacs.  If I were king, I'd confiscate their cars.  Then I'd give each family a horse and buggy.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

I have a great pastor.  He's a card-carrying member of the Ivy League Mafia.  He graduated from Yale.  But I don't hold his education against him.

The pastor focused on Mark 14.  Jesus doesn't merely give us words before his crucifixion.  He also gives us a meal.  I like that.  We're fortified with his flesh and blood.  Now that's commitment.

We went to McDonald's.  I had a Quarterpounder and fries while the Children of the Rice enjoyed McNuggets.  I'm not sure what the Dragon Lady ate.

I watched Fox News.  Sean Hannity discussed the fiscal cliff.  Mr. Hannity called Obama the worst president in history.

I don't like the Velvet Hammer.  But I respect him.  He fights to the death.  Obama has more hubris than Richard Nixon.  We should declare him Caesar.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  Jesus was scourged and nailed to a cross like a common criminal.  He was then raised from the dead three days later.  I'd be crazy not to pray to him.  His power holds me captive.

I fell asleep at 11 p.m.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  The weather is brutal.  I didn't go for a walk.

The Huckabee Show came on.  I can't remember a word Mike said.  My memory is shot.  Perhap's I have Alzheimer's.

The Redskins beat the Cowboys.  That's cool.  The Super Bowl will feature the Broncos and Packers.  Peyton shall get revenge for being traded.

It's currently 3:30 p.m.  Today is New Year's Eve.  But I'm far too old and tired to make it till midnight.  I'll probably just retire early.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.


  1. I think you meant Payton, Eli will be in the sky box watching his brother

    1. Good catch.

      I made the proper changes.


      Happy New Year.

  2. Funny. Tragic. Hopeful.

  3. Just stumbled. Good stuff. I can't tell if you are religious or atheist, republican or democrat, white or non-white, in the US or not, or really smart or really not-smart. Bravo. I'm stumped and that's hard to do.

    1. I'm a retarded white man who believes in God and lives in Asia.

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Happy New Year.

    2. One more thing.

      I'm a registered independent. But I no longer vote.

      I've tuned in, turned on, and dropped out.

      Thanks again.


  4. "He also gives us a meal. I like that. We're fortified with his flesh and blood. Now that's commitment.

    We went to McDonald's..."

    You are brilliantly funny even if by accident. One could write a great sermon based on this comparison.

  5. I love to read your blogs to my honey-bunny. He laughs at most stuff I cringe at. You do seem as Carter writes brilliantly funny. I love what Dragon lady fixes! You are marvelous that way.


Thanks for stopping by. Smith.